A Day of Thought

I am getting close to the arrival of our daughter.  This should be a fantastic time but I feel full of nerves and anxiety.  I am so excited to see this bundle of joy but so scared that she is going to be taken away.  People always say to me that I shouldn't get anxious over things that are out of my control but how can I not???  The control freak wants control and needs to accept that control is an illusion.  Things are going well with us.  It was a hard road financially and emotionally since Livia passed but things seem to finally be on the up.  We are so thankful for that but I can't seem to just let go and let whatever is supposed to happen, happen. 

I have been trying to go to my daughter's grave but I can't seem to get my car there.  I get on the road, make it about half way and then can't seem to make it the rest.  I haven't been there in forever but I feel like that she is not really there.  She is here with me and my family.

Liam is thriving and I am wondering how her is going to take to having a baby in the house.  He is the baby right now and is a complete mama's boy.  I hope he isn't too jealous and doesn't act out too much.  It is going to be an experience having a 21 month old and a newborn at the same time.  I am not worried about Isabella.  She is older now and such a helper that she will be great.